This article is about the monster. If you were looking for the book, please visit The Stone Warriors.
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Step Right Up! Step right up!!! Stare in wonder at these exotic beasts, these ancient horrors, these chimerical creatures! It's time to....
-GASP-
Meet the Monsters!
Now, there is one sentiment that is strangely common amongst you, one message board comment that I constantly hear. You think that the monsters I introduce to you every week are cute!
CUTE!
Cute?! Whoever thought monsters were cute?! Preposterous! Do you think that the Bumbling Mummy is cute?
Well I have one monster that will strike fear in your bones!
Prepare to meet....
The Stone Warrior!
It's ten feet tall! It weights three thousand pounds! It's made of solid stone! Its shield is a foot thick!
This is one giant you do not want to cross. When you step in front of the Shield Golem, it will ready itself, then charge like a bull and try to push you with its shield!
Placing a Stone Warrior in your tomb is a good way to let your fellow adventurers know that you mean business about guarding your treasure. I would suggest putting a Stone Warrior in a straight line with a trap door. You'll push all your thieves right out of your tomb, and away from your treasure!
Look at how imposing the Stone Warrior is surrounded by bumbling mummies and tomb spiders! Now that is a well guarded tomb.
Scary? Yes. Wondrous? Yes. Awe-inspiring? Yes!
But cute? Certainly not! Who thinks my monsters are cute?
Join me next week for another ghastly ghoul or poisonous pet, on Meet the Monsters!
Professor of Monster Archaeology,
Jon Z